Thursday, August 18, 2011

Call. Raise you 30.

Go back and read the blog title again.

Here let me just type it again.

I Can’t Lose!

It sounds good doesn’t it?  Like something you would hear from some poor, gin-saturated soul in Vegas.  Except it’s me saying it and I think we can all agree that I am neither A) in Vegas, or 2) saturated with gin.  I don’t drink gin because my mother told me it tasted like pine needles.  Does it?  I don’t know but I can only assume she was right.

No, my new blog title has nothing to do with pine needle cocktails in front of a sparkly one-armed bandit.  Sorry, if that idea is what drew you in.  Said title is actually kind of missing a word at the end.  Were I to go back and add it, it would read:

I Can’t Lose Weight!

But then I would miss out on all the visits from gamblers and casino goers.  I simply cannot have that.

This blog is where I intend to chronicle my most serious, yet eye-rolling, of plans.  Yes, children, weight loss.  A topic that I’m sure about 97% of women can relate to either because they are attempting it themselves or because they know someone who is.  I was very hesitant to start this blog, partially because my blogs have been known to experience significant blackouts.  But weight loss for me is something that cannot be left on the back burner in my mind.  It has to be in the front, a rolling boil, for me to keep paying attention to it.  Is it sad at all that I just used a metaphor comparing weight loss to cooking?  All cuisine-speak aside, if you want to lose weight you have to give it priority.

Another reason for this blog is my husband and his extreme disinterest in my quest to lose weight.  This is not in a mean “I don’t give a crap what you do” kind of way, but more of a “you’re perfectly fine the way you are” kind of way.  Yes, I know that most women would love to find someone that felt that way about them, but I am not most women and it’s not my husband who is uncomfortable in a bikini.  Translation: I’m not losing weight for him.  He can lose his own weight, this we know.  Men and their stupid testosterone…but that’s another post.

As this is a blog about losing weight it also is a blog about…food!  Of course, food.  Where would we be in weight loss without it?  It is both the reason for and the cause of weight loss.  Oh, isn’t that deceptive?  Food is the reason why you need to lose weight and it can also be the reason that you do lose weight.  Oh, that’s profound.

So this blog is about losing weight, food, oh, and one more thing…ME!!  Yaaay me!  I hope to put pictures up fairly often and you will have to forgive me but they may very well be the self-taken kind that has the phone or camera in it as you look in a full size mirror.  At least it’s something.  Pictures are actually one of the reasons I want to lose weight.  Ever since I got the wild hair to want to model all those years ago, and no I will not say how many, I have loved pictures and photography.  The most expensive thing I wanted for my wedding was photography.    For a while I had so many pictures of me taken and then it tapered off.  Then it got to a point where I didn’t want pictures taken of me at all.  There are several years where there are absolutely no pictures of me.  When I was pregnant with my oldest child I allowed only a handful of pictures to be taken and that was three days before he was born.  There are none of the day of his birth at all, including of him.  That’s shameful, I know. 

It was only slightly different with baby number two the following year.  Pictures the day of his birth and a few right after he was born.  That’s all.  Most of the pictures I take and have these days are of my family.  Partially because I don’t trust my husband to take decent pictures.  He thinks that any angle is a good one.  Speaking as someone who has genetically inherited a double chin, I would respectfully disagree.  So naturally there are almost none of me.  I’m tired of avoiding pictures when I used to love them so much.

So my goal here is to lose 30 pounds by next February.  As the date today is August 18 that means I have to lose 5-6 pounds a month, which I feel is doable and somewhat healthy.  But for now I am not going to think about February.  Right now my main concern is losing 5 pounds by September 18.  I got a new scale and was going to rely on it to keep up with my progress.  Unfortunately it is a piece of crap and never tells the same weight.  So I will instead use the scale at my mother’s house.  I do so for two reasons 1) it is always in the same place, and B) since it is not at my house I can’t always be obsessively checking it.  I can, however, still use the crappy scale that I have to torment myself.  So I will make a point of going to my mother’s house tomorrow to begin the weight loss surveillance.  Maybe I’ll even get her to take pictures of me.  Oh, man, just the thought makes me queasy.

My plan of action for this weight loss is two-fold.  The first is a reduced calorie diet.  My total number of allowed calories a day will be between 1200 and 1500, aiming more towards the 1200.  I am using FitnessPal on my iPhone to help me keep track.  The second aid in my weight loss arsenal is Zumba.  Currently I am taking just two classes a week, but soon when my own classes start I will be taking 3-4 a week.  Hopefully, that will make a difference as well.

Go see my Zumba instructor page!

Hopefully in the next couple of days I will post not only my initial weight but my initial measurements.  Then I will update it monthly.

With any luck in a few months I’ll want to change the title of my blog to

I Can Lose!

…but then I’d also lose all my blackjack buddies.




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